ODE TO THE UNITED STATES
By Gigi

The fourth of July is almost here and I want to thank God Almighty for the greatest country in the world. And yes, we do have some problems, like our national policies, but everybody is still trying to come here…land of the free, home of the brave. You don’t see a run on visas to Madagascar do you? Pleeeezzzee… The USA is having problems because we’re too great; the USA is too openhearted and welcoming. We take everybody. Go to ANY hospital, USA, you will get an Italian doctor, a Filipino nurse and the EKG technician will be Indian or Jamaican.

The way we’re going, English will be our second language. A gift from France, Miss Liberty’s arms were open to all—give me your tired, your poor and your green cards. We’re in danger of losing our Americanism. Over the generations, America has taken in too many boarders—except of course the indigenous Indians who were here first and the transatlantic African slaves stolen from the country of their birth and who helped built this country.

So I salute the United States with the crappy potato salad that someone made, warm iced tea, cold hot coffee, soggy tuna fish, underdone franks, overdone and burnt hamburgers, burnt spare ribs, corn on the cob with ants stuck to the butter, macaroni that’s limp. Cheap and damp paper plates that’s NOT Chinet. Have a Happy Fourth of July.