Front Street

Monday, November 05, 2007

By Gigi

Before I get right into discussing about sex, there are a few things I need to say that women should never take for granted:

~ The bliss of vacation sex…never, and I mean NEVER conk out early on a hotel bed otherwise, you’ll never be invited again
~ The upper-body strength of men—hey, I’m a feminist, but that couch ain’t gonna move itself.
~Your fertile years…yea-yea, I know it’s un-P.C. to say so, but it’s true
~ The great guy who never takes YOU for granted
~ Your partner’s sex face…it may not be pretty, but at least you know he’s satisfied
~ Fork me, spoon me…get the picture?
~ Slightly dirty text messages throughout the day—it’s all about the buildup
~ And lastly, the Trojan Vibrating Ring. Fun and orgasm inducing.

Okay, so let’s get started. This is basically a continuation from the last blog posted. You know, I’ve got to say, I never really knew what great sex was until…I stopped trying to be sexy. That’s right...I thought that good sex relied on fundamentals like: steamy glares, artful hair whipping, and a myriad of passionate cries of ecstasy. And believe me, I had it all down to a science until I got serious with my husband (he’s an ex now). Prior to that, other guys had either enjoyed the show or were just too wrapped up in their own show to care about my pleasure. And ladies, especially you women with long hair; be very careful about whipping your hair around. Things might go awry and you might knock yourself unconscious; he will laugh at you, because now the act is more slapstick burlesque than sexual art.

Most men, believe it or not, espouse the virtues of simple, unadorned pleasure; they prefer true intimacy and bliss. So this is not the time to start stressing about whether your ass is well built or did you wax enough “down there” or if your breasts are sagging or not. Then there’s the smell factor: how one smells in bed could be a deal breaker. After a shower or bath, women tend to smother their natural scent with sprays and oils. This ritual has marred many a sex lives. First of all, if you spritz “down there” with perfume, it will irritate and burn your partner, especially if he’s not wearing a condom. And since you know that your partner will be “putting in work” by going down on you; you start worrying if “eau de stink” is wafting from your nether regions, so you spray “down there” with perfume…damn near killing him with poison; and/or his attempts are met with locked legs. Ladies, simply let your inhibitions go. Inhale deeply, and savor the musk of your mingling scents. To be continued……