Front Street

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

By Gigi

We reside in a status conscious, name-dropping, celebrity obsessed and designer label seeking culture. I’m guilty of the latter, but that’s it. Now, I’ve met my fair share of celebrities—but my relationship with celebrities is generally simple: although I am dazzled by certain stars who appear to have unattainable good looks and glamour, I do not envy or dutifully worship any of them. Because since they are in the limelight, they are supposed to be everything that I’m not: thin, beautiful, rich…in other words: flawless. Why? Because that’s their job. So while I may, from time to time be glued to my computer processing contracts and other boring work, while munching vending machine candy bars—the stars are getting facials and doing pilates. I hold up my end of the bargain by purchasing over-priced movie tickets and tabloid magazines. And they hold up their end by being fabulous and remaining perfect.

But alas, us mere mortal nobody’s…we’re a snide and venomous bunch, are we not? When the contract is broken, out come the daggers. Just recently, several of these gorgeous women have had the audacity to gain weight and even (oh sugar, honey, ice tea…) exhibit cellulite. WHAT NERVE!! THAT IS NOT ALLOWED!!! That is a violation of the most sacred of celebrity rules! Oprah, Tyra Banks, Britney Spears (add also crazy) Kirstie Alley and Jennifer Love Hewitt, listen up. In the past, fans had no recourse other than to turn the page, change the channel or vent to friends over lunch. But now, with the rise of 24-hour gossip cycles and web sites, anger is given a new and very public venue to vent. Blogs and message boards are allowing fans to spew bile anonymously. How dare these stars approach “normal”…who do they think they are? US? All must be sacrificed to the great God of skinny. Celebrities are supposed to be perfect, because I’m not. So if that’s what a slightly pudgy celebrity’s butt looks like in a bikini, how bad is mine? And ‘no’ Tyra…your comment of, “kiss my fat ass”, doesn’t help.