HOLIDAY GIFT GIVING: HAS IT BECOME TOO MATERIALISTIC?
By Gigi

Many people feel stressed out about buying and giving gifts around the holidays; even before the economy tanked, lots of people thought the holidays were too materialistic and more about the gifts than the feelings behind them. Before my family became Jehovah Witnesses, our holidays were marked with gifts and food. I enjoyed it even more as I got older because I realized that our holiday traditions brought the family together and allowed us to share and express a sense of gratitude, joy, abundance…and yes, love.

As a kid, I loved getting toys, clothes, etc. But the gifts were more humble; even the people who could afford extravagant presents probably didn’t do as much buying and spending as we do today. Our culture has grown more commercial, and gift giving has become a booming industry. Sometimes the original meaning behind the tradition gets lost, and the gift giving takes on a life of its own. The pressure of spending money on the right present also becomes the focal point of receiving as well. It’s all too easy to have high expectations of what’s in that beautifully wrapped box—and that can set anyone up for disappointment. When the materialistic aspects of the holiday overshadow its meaning that can leave people feeling empty and wishing for something more, holiday blues and feeling sad and empty ensues.

Holiday advertisements can also foster unrealistic expectations. We’re pressured to buy the perfect gift, get the perfect outfit, have the perfect party and get along perfectly with our perfect families and friends; it’s hard for reality to measure up. Of course there are some of us that simply love the holidays and appreciate the traditional aspects of it, like getting together and celebrating with friends and family. And some of us love shopping and are just fine with the entire gift giving and receiving. But if you’re feeling a little hollow about the holidays, you can focus on traditions and service─try putting real meaning into your giving, such as: volunteering at a hospital, homeless shelter, feeding the poor at a soup kitchen, etc. Happy Holidays.

AN ODE TO THE SAGGING JEANS
By Gigi

As usual, I was running late and impatiently waiting for the always packed, number 36 cross town bus. The bus stop was starting to get a little crowded. So I positioned myself to the approximate spot to where the bus might stop. As I continued to read my newspaper, I was approached by a handsome young man that I’ve seen several times before around the neighborhood. He murmured, “good morning”. And I responded, “hello”. I shook my newspaper slightly, turned the page and buried my face deeper between the pages. I was in a bad mood and really wasn’t looking for conversation to pass the time. But he took no notice of this and pressed on. “I’ve seen you around the ‘hood before. Um, my name is…” Before he could finish, I stopped him. I took a deep breath, smiled softly and said that I wasn’t interested. I went back to my paper, but felt his eyes on me. I asked how old he was, and he said, “twenty-five”. I smiled again but felt my lips spreading even further until I was practically howling in his face. “You are the same age as my son”, I stated. “I might be old enough to be your patient, more experienced lover, but I’m not desperate like Madonna to even phantom about dating a boy two and a half decades younger than myself, and I have too much respect for myself; never mind the fact that I’m still married…I waved my wedding ring in his face.

I looked at his attire and was mildly disgusted; so I felt that I needed to school him on some things; first if he wanted to capture the interest of an older, sophisticated woman, he would have to stop speaking Ebonics or what I call ghetto-ese. And next, for him to dress better or at least pull up his sagging jeans. He stated he like wearing them that way and he never received complaints before, that even his mother doesn’t say anything. I took a pen out of my purse and ask him to spell the word sagging on my newspaper…he spelled it correctly, but left off the ‘g’ at the end. Then I asked him to write it backwards, and he did; it spelled N-I-G-G-A-S. He was floored. I told him that the origin of the look that he was so fond of came from back during slavery. Slave owners demoralized the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked the fields. The field workers resorted to wearing rope to keep their pants from falling down. Also, in prison, pants are worn low for when a prisoner is ‘spoken for’. But belts are forbidden to deter suicide and to prevent you from running away. I told him that as a young Black adult, his entire generation will have to effect.

The media has made a mockery of their generation and Africans from Africa don’t take them seriously either. They must start by pulling up their pants and hold their head up high; that can make such a big difference in the world’s perception of us. Then perhaps, maybe…they will get respect. I looked up and the bus was baring down Webster Avenue and stopped right in front of me. I smiled. As people stepped off the bus, I turned slightly and said. “We need to love and respect ourselves more; no one is going to do that for us. If you take nothing else from this conversation…well, you know the rest.”

THE SENATE FINALLY APOLOGIZES FOR SLAVERY…BUT SORRY, WE AIN”T PAYING YOU BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!
By Gigi

The United States Congress is saying “sorry” for slavery. The Senate voted unanimously for a “resolution” acknowledging the fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery and Jim Crow laws”, which authorized the segregation that followed the Civil War. If the House passes a similar measure by June 30th, as expected, it would mark the highest official mea culpa for the hundreds of years of brutality and discrimination that had been enshrined by the Constitution and courts.

Slavery and Jim Crow, and their continuing consequences, are not the historical baggage of one state, one region or one company; they are an enduring national and institutionalize shame, and in some instances persists to this very day of 2009. Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush had both expressed remorse for slavery…how nice. And Congress has recognized other injustices, such as the internment or prolonged detainment of Japanese Americans during World War II. The slaughtering of indigenous Indians and the extermination of Jewish people during the holocaust, which didn’t occur in America but still, the aforementioned were all compensated in some form or another.

No one pretends that a mere apology or any words of remorse can right the wrongs of the most heinous crimes committed against Black people in the United States. The apology only represents the United States recognition of the past and its commitment to fully live up to our nation’s promise…and that is to never, NEVER EVER, allow this to happen again. The apology does have one caveat…it does not intend to compensate or pay reparations in any form, the apology is simply enough.

BLOOD IN…BLOOD OUT
By Gigi
There’s a drug war that’s brewing in Mexico and Columbia between rival cartels. The Mexican authorities think that it’s America’s fault, since there’s a growing demand for illegal drugs in various forms and they want the United States to do something about it. People are being murdered over the sale of drugs which continues to underline the fact that billions of dollars in profit are at stake and create a level of greed so addictive, that in its cold bloodedness is not only incalculable, but rivals the greed on Wall Street! Yes, the two comparisons may be a bit extreme, but we have seen all of this before…remember the bootlegging Prohibition years? When politicians and religious zealots thought that outlawing the sale of liquor would bring an end to drinking and the worst excesses connected to it such as organized crime, but instead, the streets ran red with people murdered. Crime syndicates killed until legislation changed its tune. So I see the same thing happening here. Hundreds of people so far have been murdered in Mexico, from high government officials to innocent people caught in drug cross fires.

Pablo Escobar, one of the leaders of the Mexican cartel, declared war on Colombia by ordering entire city blocks to be blown up in order to defend his territory and cocaine profits. The drug trade needs to be broken, it needs to be broken in the same way the back of the bootlegging business was broken…by legalization. Perhaps significant legislative changes will put a permanent hole in the bucket of illegal drug dealing. Mexico is teetering on the brink of collapse; tourism is down because of all the bloodshed. Since Escobar’s greed is matched by his ruthlessness, and threats of doing prison have not run him or others like him out of business, we have to change the game until the game is destroyed. The dealers are trying to meet the massive American appetite for chemical fun in a time when the market is driven by middle to higher class “social users”, not addicts.

Our economy can use all the tax money it can get. We need to look at what legalization would do for us. The tax money would surpass the billions already spent on a drug war we never come close to winning. Also, the tobacco companies have the machinery in place to mass produce marijuana cigarettes on a sliding scale from light to very strong; and the pharmaceutical companies could handle all of the other drugs. The drug dealers will then have to compete against the big pharmaceutical and Phillip Morris-type companies that would not only take over the trade, but will have lower prices, ensure that the potency of the product will be safe and legal and they will pay billions of dollars in taxes. Yes, I hate it too, but I see no other way out of this mess and you can’t stop people from willingly spending billions of dollars of their own money to entertain them selves.

OFFICE BACK STABBERS: WHY WOMEN BETRAY OTHER WOMEN AT WORK?
By Gigi

CONTINUATION….
To be sure, real progress must come through social policy changes to improve maternity leave and daycare, and to equalize women’s pay. But women can begin by talking about this with each other. The office environment is built around confrontation, and women must learn to engage in it with respect and full disclosure. Women should learn to fight their urge to share too much with female colleagues, a trait that can make them vulnerable. Emotional availability should be an asset, not a detriment, and competition can be healthy. Women can strike the balance between ambition and collaboration in part by discarding the old lie that competition is for men. Here are some tips if you feel that you’re at risk of being betrayed by a female colleague: you protect yourself hopefully without making enemies.

 As stated before, communication is key, deal with problems openly and directly

 Remember, being respected isn’t the same as being liked…you don’t have to be friends with other women on the job

 Keep the professional, professional: revealing too much can make you vulnerable. This isn’t high school and there’s no need to share every intimate detail of your private life with colleagues.

 Be sensitive to personality and value differences: before jumping to judge, put yourself in her shoes. Just because you’re both women doesn’t mean you think and act alike.

 Be generous with your time, your knowledge, and your resources: Teach the women who come under you how to handle conflict and to work together respectfully

 Stand up for yourself: be respectful, but be heard…no workplace I know offers a “Biggest Doormat” award

OFFICE BACK STABBERS: WHY WOMEN BETRAY OTHER WOMEN AT WORK?
By Gigi

Working women and mothers are the norm these days. But as the number of professional women increases, so do the proverbial elephants in the office. The issue that no one seems eager to discuss is the phenomenon of women sabotaging each other in the work place…and why they do it.

Professional men have been merrily swiping at each other for years. But when it comes to women, it seems most of the stabbing is done in the back. We get opposing messages from the workplace about being ambitious and successful. In addition, we’re caught between ambition and social views of femininity, a working woman may subvert her competitive nature for more passive forms of aggression. We’re afraid to come across as ‘bad women’, as if we should always be bonding together and supporting one another. This fear not only keeps women from addressing the issue, but is also the crux of the problem. Women often still get strong messages that in our relationships with each other, we must put the other woman before ourselves.

Then you get some women, who think like men and want to excel professionally and don’t give a damn about being kind or a generous person and prefer to fight dirty. They will tell lies, withhold critical information, finger point and blame you for mistakes that are not of your making to the big bosses. They’re nice to your face, while boldly presenting your ideas as their own.

So what is the cause, aside from professional ambition which causes women to clash so fiercely at work? We can argue all day long about differences in race and class for bringing working women into conflict. There’s also competition over looks and sexual appeal if you can believe that! Such as co-workers being jealous of the attention you get in the workplace by the men on staff.

The first step to dealing with a difficult female at work?

Communication.

TO BE CONTINUED….

HISTORY IN THE MAKING: SMILES, TENSION AND RESENTMENT
By Gigi

Happy Thanksgiving!! Three weeks ago, President-elect Barack Obama was voted into the nation’s highest office and is now the most powerful man on the planet. He will ascend the steps of the U.S. capitol January 20th 2009, to take the oath of office, as the first African-American president of the United States. Wow, those steps…those steps have an interesting history of their own—they were built by Black slaves…but that’s a topic for another time. What everyone is still discussing and bandying about? What the hell happened to the Republican Party? They lost this presidential election by a landslide, and from a Black man!!!! What happened during the aftermath of this historical election? Now Republicans are coming out in droves—like attack dogs, denigrating poor Sarah Palin; not that I feel sorry for her in the very least. She is no innocent. She is arrogantly ignorant and should never have seen the light of day beyond the woods of the Alaskan wilderness from which she was dragged. She should have never been standing next to John McCain!!!!

In the beginning, when they found Sarah Palin, they hiked all the way up to Alaska, and once they found her, they had to pry the high powered rifle from her hands, get her out of the lumber jack clothes and make her shiny and new for all the Hillary Clinton “sour grapes” feminists who were still angry that Hillary lost to Obama. Once presented as McCain’s running mate, the press and the Republicans fell in love with her; after all, she was shiny and new and rode high with their adoring adulation. But how the tides have turned!!! These same Republicans now curse her name. They touted her common quality and her “straight talk” and small town “goodness”; all this were suppose to be the Republican’s answer to the snotty, educated democrats complexity, sophistication and elitism. Too bad she wasn’t good enough. The love affair with Sarah Palin lasted all of 4 weeks; simply put…Sarah just didn’t know certain things…things that were supposed to be combined with real skills, imagination and resilience. Simply put, Sarah needed geographical lessons and civics lessons—even elocution lessons would’ve helped. Again, simply put, Sarah Palin wasn’t smart enough or knew enough to be vice-president.

Sarah, frightened people with her “straight talk”. She started to sound really dumb and simple. The American people don’t need any more dumb presidents like Bush. So the Republican Party scapegoat her; but the real problems of the Republican Party started way before Sarah…no matter what or how they’re trying to spin it now that they’ve lost. We can talk about Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber and all the sideshow psychodrama of feminist rage and elite loathing that had little to do with politics and everything to do with cultural prejudices. So these are my thoughts…my pearls of wisdom, and they should take heed.

1. The Republican Party needs to get rid of the virus that is the Christian Coalition. Because their influence and intolerance disguised as a social agenda continues to drive potential voters away in droves. They need to focus on issues such as balanced budgets, the national debt, etc.

2. They need to get back to their true conservative principles of fiscal responsibility and small government. The Republican Party that I remember used to be filled with intelligent people. That was before Ronald Reagan. So what happened? They just let anybody in.

3. Also, and this is a biggie…they have to stop relying on the White racist vote to get them elected and promote a platform of inclusion like Barack did, instead of hate-mongering politics they’ve gotten so good at over the decades. Sarah Palin was doing this, which is why you heard things like, “kill Obama”, “bomb Obama” at the Republican/KKK rallies. McCain allowed her to do this out of desperation and it cost him dearly. So the Republican Party needs to get away from the bible-thumping, backwoods racist freaks that hijacked the party.

4. Stop excluding Blacks; when you look at the Republican Party rallies, they were predominantly White. Barack’s rallies were a rainbow of races and nationalities coming together…INCLUSION, that’s a new word for the Republican Party to embrace…learn it…live it.

In Barack Obama, we get a President that’s politically intelligent with a steely self-discipline and who is valiant in his splendid elegance; also, with the election of Barack, history has been made. It will take time but we must be confident as Americans that he will get the economy moving, solve the credit and housing mess, reduce unemployment as well as reduce forces fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. May God bless him and his family and his cabinet members as well as the rest of his administration.

And as an after thought, the rest of America who did not vote for Barack Obama will have to get over it. Stop hating on Blacks, because Blacks helped to build America to what it is today…for free!!! And we’re not going anywhere and will no longer be denied.