CHECK PLEASE!! LADIES, SPEAK WITH YOUR POCKET BOOK
By Gigi

Ladies, are you continuously disrespected in restaurants? Let me share some of my dining experiences with you—because sexism (and possibly racism) is alive and well in the New York City restaurant industry. First, let me say, men are treated better than women, no matter whom is paying the bill (it’s always assumed that the man will pay, even if the woman is actually paying); wine is usually offered for the man to taste as if by virtue of his gender, he knows wines. On one such occasion, a group of my girlfriends arrived together to a trendy restaurant. We were shown the least desirable table. Our assigned funky table was too small for all six of us and we were squeezed together. We requested twice to be moved, but we were rebuffed. We watched as a lone male diner came in and got the big table…he was White and my group consisted of Black and Puerto Rican women…but perhaps I’m paranoid. Let’s continue. Upon finishing our dinner, the girls and I sort of lingered; we talked long after the bill was paid. The waitress walked back and forth throwing caustic glances in our general direction. It was finally time to go, so we left a small tip since we didn’t get the table that we requested and the time it took for her to bring us more bread and such. I excused myself and left for the ladies room; upon my return, one of my friends was arguing with the waitress. As I got closer, the waitress accused us of taking too long, plus we kept asking for hot water for our sodden tea bags and made her lose money because other prospective diners came in and sat in other stations.

She also complained about the tip and said whenever she get a bunch of women, that we never tipped well at all…not like the men anyway!!! So I fixed it for her—I relieved her of the puny tip, leaving her nothing and I pranced out of the restaurant with my girlfriends bringing up the rear. That’s right ladies, speak with your pocketbook!!!

I hated doing that because waitresses don’t get paid enough, and rely on tips to get by…but if you’re in the service industry and you want good tips, you must give good service; and the type of service we received (or not in this case) shouldn’t be ignored or be based on gender or race. I also think that as long as the stereotypes of women making less money is put out there, we’ll always be treated as second-class citizens. Here’s another example: I treated a male friend to dinner as a birthday gift...totally different restaurant. As soon as we checked in, the hostess only made eye contact with him and pretty much ignored me. Once we were seated, she expected him to order for me. Now I was at risk, and on the verge of acting like a nightmare bitch, because this situation came on the heels of the last restaurant incident and I was fed up; when she came back with the check after dinner and dessert, she placed the small tray with the check on it directly in front of my friend…not in the center or off to the side.

But I fixed her right up…I got the last laugh when I reached for the check and placed my American Express black card on it. When she returned with my credit card and lingered for a gratuity, I snapped my purse close with such fury she jumped. She looked at me for the first time that night and saw the seriousness in my brown eyes. I beaconed her to come closer and whispered, “It was pretty much a mistake and narrow-minded of you to assume that my friend here was paying the bill and therefore you disregarded my entire presence; and that’s why you’re not getting a tip.” So my advice to women, if you receive poor service in a restaurant or any service industry that’s driven by gratuity, assert yourself…SPEAK WITH YOUR POCKET BOOK…and further, don’t ever go back either.