Front Street

Friday, April 25, 2008

I’M OFFICIALLY OLD….
By Gigi

Not chronologically old, because I look great. But lately, I’ve looked around and realized…I no longer “get” what the teenagers are into. It would appear that in the last 5 years or so, pop culture or maybe what’s left of it is no longer interesting or intriguing—except for poor grammar, comprised mostly of pidgin (not pigeon, which is a flying rodent) English and abbreviations. And of course, blogging, where you can anonymously and with narcissistic delight make hateful comments about people you don’t know, while utilizing crude photo shop skills to draw horns, tail and blacken their teeth.

Then there’s TV; I find the majority of current programming either completely insulting or “dumb down” for the illiterate masses. And these are the same 2 characteristics that have taken up permanent, symbiotic residence on MTV, BET and VH1. These stations main goal is bent on showing kids how to spread herpes faster. I’m still trying to pinpoint and isolate the exact moment things turned sour for me and I became a fuddy-duddy. Was it that we’re raising our children to be collective button-pushing monkeys? Was it when I needed earplugs to survive today’s rap music or was it that every time I want to go to see a blockbuster movie at the local teenager-plex on the night it opens, I get a wicked involuntary twitch which attacks my left eye?

Oh sure, I consider myself still cool and I can drop it like it’s hot as well as ANY 25 year old…okay I’m lying, maybe I drop it like it’s luke warm; but I’m telling you, if I hear the name KIM KARDASHIAN or hear anymore nonsensical crap about televised dance competitions or Flavor Of Love reality shows, I will go into a rage spiral! The kids on my block already talk about me being a cranky old bitch. And it gets worst from here. Soon I’ll be eating dinner at 4:30 pm…God, I’m old.